Interview with Alex

 

When Alex agreed to the interview he suggested we meet at the bowling alley, but it’s always so noisy and busy there I suggested Greasy Dog instead. Needless to say he jumped on it.

So that’s where I am and I have to admit I’m a little nervous about doing this. I don’t think the questions I was given to ask are out of line or anything but Alex is and you never know where a sixteen year old’s mind is going to go. I bought myself a coke and settled into a corner booth. I have a notepad and pen, my tape recorder, and my list of questions.

A few minutes later a young man comes in, his dark curls frame an engaging face and his smile, when he greets the girl at the counter, is radiant. It’s Alex and unexpectedly at his side is Jared. He is quite a bit taller than Alex and not smiling. My nerves kick up a notch. I wasn’t expecting protective Jared to attend the interview, but on retrospect it seems silly that I didn’t. Now I’m only surprised that they didn’t bring Clark along as well. Once they’ve got their food they join me at the booth, settling across from each with a bright red tray loaded with food in front of him. Alex grins at me, a smile that’s bright enough to fry the brain cells of anyone. It’s rather incredible how it transforms his appearance.

“Hope you don’t mind that Jared came.” Alex flashes a look of fond tolerance at the tall young man beside him. Jared’s expression is gentle when he meets Alex’s eyes, but when he looks at me it’s clear he’s staying.

“I thought it’d be a good idea.” Offering his point of view Jared smiles and settles back into the corner of the booth opening his hot dog. “Just pretend I’m not here.” I’m afraid my smile is a little tight; pretending Jared isn’t there is like pretending there’s not an elephant in the room.

“It’s fine.” I lie, and then add “I understand” which is not a lie. Alex is munching on his fries.

“Are we going to start now?” He asks looking at my paraphernalia with obvious curiosity.

“Sure. So, is this OK?”  I motion at the recorder.

“Okay by me.” Alex takes a drink of his soda and settles back his eyes are fixed on me, but he’s turned slightly towards Jared and I’m sure their knees are touching under the table. At their most casual they are always aware of each other. I switch on the recorder, glance down at my list of questions, and begin.

 

Dee: This first question is from Lori, she asks if you are going to date other people when you go to college. Have you and Jared talked about this? (Jared looks amused and takes a sip of his Coke his attention on Alex) 

Alex: (shifts in his seat) Oh, we talk about it. We talk about me being away at high school too, but I’m not going to see other people.” (He tosses a defiant look in Jared’s direction. Jared cocks a brow at him but refrains from comment. )

Dee: I sense a disagreement? (I’m looking at Jared. His lips thin. He’s not happy.)

Jared: It’s his interview. (He gestures at Alex making it clear he’s not open to questions today. That’s okay, he’s next. I make a note)

Dee: Alex?

Alex: (shrug)

Dee: I see this is a touchy subject, let’s move on. (Alex relaxes a little. If he could see the rest of my list, he’d run.) Several people are curious about your family’s reaction to you being gay. Lori and Karen both ask about your father. Were you surprised by his acceptance of your sexual orientation? (If the question bothers Alex I can’t tell. He takes another bite of his hot dog looking thoughtful)

Alex: I was surprised he figured it out. I really didn’t think he was paying attention but Dad’s pretty calm about stuff. So I guess his reaction wasn’t surprising, he’s always coming through when other Dads get all bent out of shape.

Dee: OK, then what about his interaction with Jared. Did that surprise you? How do you feel about how well they get along, that is actually one of RD’s multitude of questions.

Alex: (laughs and glances at Jared again) Dad making friends with Jared really surprised me, I guess it’s a good thing, but I feel double teamed sometimes, you know? Like there’s Team Adults and Team Me, but it’s better than some guys get. I’m not complaining. (There’s a rude snort from the corner, Alex and I look toward Jared but he’s innocently looking out the window into the parking lot.)

Dee: It’s awesome how cool things are with your Dad. That’s a support a lot of people never get, but what about your mom? Have you told her yet? Do you think it’ll be okay when you do?” (Alex’s entire demeanor changes. He’s more serious, sitting straighter. He pushes his tray away. Jared turns from the window to look at Alex. His concern is evident but he doesn’t interfere.)

Alex: No I didn’t tell Mom yet. She’s not going to like it much, but I guess it’ll be okay. She’ll just have to get used to it and there’s Jared, who doesn’t love him right? (He chuckles but his heart isn’t in it.)

Dee: I’m sorry to hear that Alex, but I’m sure with your Dad and Jared on your side it’ll work out. Let’s move on this next one is interesting, Adam wants to know who is the last person you disappointed? (Alex shifts in his seat and glances down at the table. I expect a flash of his smile and a glib answer, but perhaps he hasn’t regrouped from the last question. He looks up his expression earnest)

Alex: Me.

Dee: You disappointed yourself?

Alex: (shrugs)It happens a lot. I want to be like Jared or my dad, but you know I got a long way to go. (He rubs the back of his neck, reminding me of the tattoo there.)

Dee: Can I see it? (His smile flashes)

Alex: Sure. (He turns, and the tattoo is easily visible since he’s wearing a T-shirt. Stark black lines on his pale skin.)

Dee: So how’d you manage that, at 15? (I’m off track of my questions but I can’t pass up the chance to find this out)

Alex: (laughs) You’re kidding right? This is a college town anyone can get a tattoo if they want it bad enough.

Dee: (cringes) Oh that sound…hygienic.

Alex: you asked (he leans his shoulder briefly against Jared) It was worth it.

Dee: It was an unusual way to let your parents know how you felt, and made a big impression on your dad. RD wonders if that made your first conversation with your dad about being gay any easier.

Alex: (blushes) Who wants to talk to their parents about sex?? Dad looked up safe sex for homosexuals on the internet. I had to talk to my Dad about condoms and lube and oh my God it was awful. (Alex is fire engine red at the memory and buries his face in his arms) I never want to do that again. (His voice is muffled. Jared laughs and roughs a hand through Alex’s hair.)

Jared: You’re lucky.

Alex: (sitting up Alex shrugs and ducks his head away from Jared’s petting) Yeah I know. Just geez, you know? (Jared chuckles and returns to his texting)

Dee: So aside from being the most embarrassing moment in your life, it went well?

Alex: Yeah, Dad’s cool. He wants me to be safe. Happy. But safe.

Dee: So I have a few questions that are a little more personal, are you ready for those?

Alex: Sure I like to talk about Jared. (He beams)

Dee: (laughs) Okay we’ll start with an easy one. RD wants to know what you like most about Jared, aside from his character.

Alex: His ass. (He deadpans)

Dee: (Chokes)

Jared: (chokes and tries to pretend he’s not listening)

Alex: (still dead serious) His hands. Holy fu…cow you seen his hands? (Alex shifts in his seat, his face flushed and his thoughts obviously not on the interview)

Dee: (laughs a little embarrassed) Well, that leads naturally into RD’s next question. She wonders if your vision for where you want to be in ten years progressing at all.

Alex: (sighs there’s a hint of a pout) Since I’m only about a year into it, and Jared’s stubborn as heck, not so much. I’m sure you can imagine.

Dee: Well, apparently RD can, she asked if you’re suffering blue balls yet. 

Alex: You mean that’s not what color they’re supposed to be? (I burst out laughing. Jared chokes off a laugh and pulls Alex into a kiss.)

His hand on Alex’s face. No wonder just the thought of those hands distracted Alex, strong callused fingers splayed on his jaw, thumb on the other side. The kiss is brief and Alex leans in eager for more when Jared pulls back. Gentle hands grip Alex by the arms and set him away, but I glimpse Jared’s eyes and the fact he’s in control of the raw lust burning there amazes me. Stubborn doesn’t begin to describe it; he must have a will of iron. Jared’s hands linger on Alex. The hunger in his expression eases, transitioning into something else without losing intensity.  He loves Alex with fervor equal to his desire. I shouldn’t be jealous but I am. Everyone dreams of being loved like that.

Dee: (clears throat) Alex?

Alex: (looks dazed) huh? (Clearly not into the interview at this moment. I shift the focus of the interview a little in an effort to distract him.)

Dee: We know you’d like to be an architect, RJ asked if you really see yourself working with Jared in the future. (Alex looks at me his expression one of wistful determination)

Alex: Work with him? He’s the only thing I see in my future. (Jared shifts but refrains from interrupting) Jared doesn’t like me to say that, but it’s true. I want to be an architect, but he’s my future. I’m going to work with him and one day I’m going to marry him. (His mischievous look tells me he’s aware of how uncomfortable he’s making Jared, but at the same time he’s dead serious)

Dee: Wow, that’s an interesting answer brings us a full circle to the beginning of our interview and another school question. RD mentions how much time you guys spend apart. Does the impact of all that time apart worry you? (Alex looks surprised by the question)

Alex: Worry? Well no, should it? I mean there’s nothing we can do and there’s still college. If we can’t survive that there’s not much point. (He frowns) Am I supposed to worry?

Dee: (I feel kind of bad. It’s obvious the idea of doubting Jared never entered his mind. I hope I haven’t inadvertently planted the idea.) No of course not, it’s just most people do, that’s all.  (his hand touches the tattoo again and I see it’s become something of a talisman for him)

Alex: Most people don’t have Jared.

Dee: That’s certainly true. I have one more question for you. Don wonders how you knew you were in love with Jared given your age and lack of experience. (He and Jared go perfectly still. I suddenly doubt the wisdom of throwing the L word out there between them)

Alex: Love. Well, you know we don’t…um I mean it’s not. (Jared reaches over and takes his hand.)

Jared: He knew because he’s a genius. (Alex beams)

Dee: (laughs) So I’ve heard, I think that does it. Thank you for your time, Alex. And Jared. I’ll see you in a couple weeks?

“Sure, I’ll be here, well maybe we can do the Skyline or something?” his reluctance to return to the hotdog stand makes me laugh.

“Sounds good, I’ll call somewhere for reservations.” I get to my feet as the boys slide out of the booth..

“I’m staying home.” Alex laughs. “This is embarrassing.” I can’t argue with that there were some uncomfortable moments, but only because he was so honest with me.

“It was a good interview, thanks Alex.” He grins and even at his age it makes my knees week. I don’t know how Jared does it. He grabs Jared by the hand.

“No problem, see you later!” and with a wave over the shoulder they’re gone. The place is emptier without Alex’s energy and Jared’s steady presence. They’re good guys. I’m looking forward to spending some time with Jared.